Afraid of the dark

I cheated. I posted yesterday's post this morning. We had a power outage for 5 hours last night that made it impossible to log on and post. I was running around all day yesterday. First was my 7 hour trip to New Hope and back. I got to share nachos with a friend of mine. We caught up about jobs and families as we sat in the empty Mexican restaurant. Later she accompanied me to the gallery and boosted my confidence by being there. I came home and was off again to my daughter's dance class. We got home from that, and I was making dinner when the power went out. The turkey BLT's were done, but the broccoli soup was still in its ice cube form. We ate our sandwiches by the light of 20 candles. Then, we went out to look at the stars, unobstructed by the lights from neighboring houses. After that, I tried to read, but I must have been allergic to one of the candles, because I had an allergy attack. Took medicine and went to bed. But alas, I don't know if was my active day or the allergy meds, but my mind was racing in that high-octane anxiety kind of way. Most of the anxiety was aimed the fact that I am going to have to paint under pressure. I have never done that before. It was like a boogeyman in the dark. Luckily for me, my daytime mind is not quite as anxious as my nighttime mind. I'm going to work out some ideas for paintings this week and start fresh on Monday. As my friend Marsha says, "Not fearful news--but exciting news."

Gallery Piquel

I went to Gallery Piquel in New Hope. I showed my work to Tamara Cannon, the proprietor and she took 5 of my pieces to sell. I was thrilled. I had no idea that she was looking to take them immediately. I thought she might look at them and say, bring me 5 pieces in April. I am ecstatic, but part of me is terrified. The pieces she took were pieces I was considering putting in Red Raven Gallery in late January. Now I have to come up with replacement pieces in time to get giclee prints done and frames on some of the canvases. It isn't that I doubt my abilities, but I've done some clunkers lately. I need a painting I can feel good about. So, while November was dedicated to blogging and Thanksgiving, December is going to have to be about kicking some writing and art butt! Where does that put the holiday exactly? I am hoping to continue to blog in a regular fashion. I have gained some readers and friends through NaBloPoMo, and I'd like to continue the momentum.

In the Company of Women

Yesterday, my friend who works in an professional setting that is dominated by men and in a household that is dominated by football, emailed to set up a women's night out. There have been times when I have needed such a gathering--desperately. These occurred when I was working full-time, the kids were small, and my husband was on the road one week out of the month. I would have given a kidney to have someone push me out the door and into a seat in the circle of women. In those days spinning classes were my only escape. But today my fellowship (it is an odd word when talking about women) with females is abundant and remarkable. In the last month alone, I have held journaling classes with a total of 50 women in attendance, I have attended 2 all-women yoga classes, I had a glass of wine on 3 occasions with my friend Patti, I had coffee twice with my friend Marsha, I attended a book club and discussion group--all women, walked on separate occasions with my mom and sister-in-law, and went Christmas shopping with my sister and mother-in-law. Tonight I am attending the third in series of films on feminist religious practices at church. Again, we will be an all-female crowd.
I am not excluding men (or the classical male experiences) in my life. I've watched college football and the Men in Black films. I've cheered my husband on in his marathon and ate Philly Cheese steaks with him afterwards. I did stop short of watching the Rocky film fest Mark recorded on TV. Couldn't do it. I may have watched the first one, but we only managed to record III-V.
My real point is to say that I have enjoyed so much camaraderie with my girlfriends lately, and it has enriched my life and made this time of year, when women get bogged down with holiday minutiae, so much more enjoyable. I want to thank my sisters for all the love. And if my friend needs me to balance out her life a little during this time, I will be there for her as well. I've got a lot of the girl power in my stores, ready to give.

**What I could use right now is a spinning class or two.

Artist's Resume

Today I signed a contract for a gallery for a February showing I am doing. I also had to supply them with an artist's statement and resume. I've had this assignment for about a month now. I have had the artist statement completed; I used it in my show at Moon Dancer winery. The thing that was tripping me up was the resume. I...uh...don't have much to say. Don't get me wrong, I have done a lot with myself in these last couple of years. But from a gallery perspective, I have done nada. The most I could write was about my BFA in Fine Arts, my work as a fabric designer, a few publications that have included my artwork, and my Moon Dancer show. I also included a line about my novel, but I think it was just to cover some of the white space on the sheet.
I don't belong to any associations. I have not participated in any group shows. I have not studied under other artists or taken any classes. I have conducted workshops on writing and creative journaling, and I have addressed groups about my artwork, but those seemed to say more about me and less about the work I was presenting.
It's no secret. The gallery director knows my background. It was just an odd feeling to understand that while I have a lot on my life resume, my art resume makes for pretty light reading.

Going to the Mall

The mall isn't exactly Italy, but it is my tradition to go shopping with my kids, my mother-in-law, my sister and her kids on the first day of hunting season. The kids see Santa, we get some shopping done, eat a fun lunch, and head to IKEA to buy wrapping paper and other sundries we don't need but are too cheap to dismiss. I only got two presents off the list of things I needed to buy. Because this is a year I must budget wisely, I think it is interesting to note the things I almost bought today, but didn't. (And if I had been working at a regular paying job, I probably would not have thought twice about buying.)

1. A new red blouse for family gatherings. I'll wear something I already own.
2. A spiral bound weekly calendar refill at Franklin Covey. It's what I want, but my mom already got me a lesser calendar than the one I had my eye on. I guess I'll try using that one and see if it works. This was probably the hardest thing for me to put back.
3. Plates at IKEA. I have these square salad plates, I love. I have them in white and in blue. I have a cabinet of all white dishes. The decision was whether to get rid of the blue and go strictly with the white.
4. Cutting boards at IKEA. I have enough cutting boards for me, but at our Thanksgiving prep party it would have been nice to have a few more.
5.Purple star lights--10 on a string. This is self-explanatory. Why I would want them and why I would put them back.
6. Bubble bath at Bath and Body Works. My favorite is Lavender Vanilla. They were out and had Vanilla Chamomile. I almost caved, but I am holding out for my true love.
7. Many dollars worth of decorative pillows at IKEA. I wanted them in the worst way, but I needed to keep the budget open for presents.
8. A Starbucks peppermint white chocolate mocha. I do not need the calories, so when my mother-in-law offered to pull off at the rest stop to get some, I kept mum.
9. New royal blue potholders and dish towels at Kitchen Kapers. I noticed at Thanksgiving that mine are getting a little worn.

It is funny what things you can find to spend money on and what things you really don't need. I am proud of myself for the purchases I didn't make.

Going to Italy

After church today, we attended a travel lecture by a woman who is a renowned storyteller and mime in our area. She has been having a love affair with Italy for the past 6 years. I have been having an unrequited love affair with Italy for the same period of time. Terri showed us slides of a sculpture workshop, the beaches, mountains, play houses, sculpture parks, kitchens, the people, the architecture, the house she almost bought, and the marble quarries. On this side of the ocean, I drink my chianti and make my spaghetti Bolognese. I grow basil and make pesto. I read books by Frances Mayes, Marlena De Blasi, and just recently Elizabeth Gilbert. I forgo Rachel on the Food Network and hone in on Giada and Mario.
Friends of ours, just returned from a tour of Florence and Venice. I drooled over their pictures. Another friend, Nan, went for a photographer's tour of Tuscany. The gallery who sponsored the trip is going to have a showing of the group's work in December.
So, I am appealing to La Befana, the Italian Christmas Witch for a little magic to get Jill (and her family) to Italy. Besides that, I just really like the idea of a Christmas Witch. Buon Natale!

The next round of holidays

We did go out and shop yesterday. Mark wanted to get out of the house. And we did get the teensiest bit of holiday shopping done. Trying not to get stressed out by it. It isn't the shopping that gets to me so much as the worthlessness. We seem to get the same stuff for people year after year and it is hard to get excited by it all. Our kids have so many possessions that it is an effort to buy for them. They don't even know what to want, and in order to store it, they have to have a big purge every year right before they get new gear.
It sounds terrible, but I'd just like to cancel it some year and take a breather on a warm beach or a cabin in the woods with just Mark and the kids. I could do the world more good by peaceful meditation and journaling. Observe the natural world--the solstice. Breathe with the darkness. Watch the sunrise. Chant something. Beat drums. Welcome the light. Offer gratitude. Listen to my daughter play sax. Play games. Sit by a fire (or by the surf, depending on where we were). Maybe we'd perform some sort of community service before we left. Something as a family to give back to the larger world. It seems so simple--doesn't it? Why do we allow ourselves to get carried away by tradition and commercialism?
Today I am thankful for the traditions that do have meaning to me. The solstice service at church. Our tree. It is decorated with ornaments that commemorate memories--places we've been, stages of childhood, our pets. I do enjoy holiday music--all kinds and all traditions. And hearing from faraway friends. I especially like the photographs and long juicy letters that tell what every body's been doing over the course of their year. And I enjoy the fresh start that a new year affords us. A great time to ponder life's mysteries.

Foreign Films

Last night after everyone went home, our family watched two foreign films: Jean De Florette (selected as on of the New York Times 1,000 best films ever made) and Manon of the Spring. We took a break for Thanksgiving leftovers between films. I've always loved these movies. We first watched them over 12 years ago. In fact, we considered naming our daughter Manon, which is a little eerie because our daughter looks like the main character with her blond curly hair and blue eyes. They even prance alike. (We eventually named her Maren . Both Manon and Maren are derivatives of the name Mary.) I think this may have been the first foreign films my kids have seen. Maren asked if it counted toward her reading goals for school. Considering, she was reading for 4 hours, it should count for something. (Educators say to put close captioning on TV when your kids are watching for improved literacy. A good idea we never used--mainly because the kids don't watch much TV--but foreign films force the issue.)
It was a perfect way to end the holiday for me. My husband kept up with dishes. We must have done 6 loads in the dishwasher yesterday.
I don't go shopping on Black Friday. It's more of a recovery day for me. I am not a great shopper. I don't enjoy it as sport. Mark doesn't go hunting. So, for us, we just got to sleep in today, and that was priceless!

Thanksgiving 2007

The day seemed to go off without a hitch. We hosted both side of our family--a total of 18 people. Only my brother Jed and his family were missing. I did not set off the smoke detector. Not sure whether it was due to my new roasting pan, the smaller size of the turkey or the fact that it was warm enough to keep window open. My two favorite recipes of the day were the following: Blobby Flay's Smoked Chile Scalloped Sweet Potatoes. Simple--only 4 ingredients. If you double this, don't double the sauce--just the potatoes. And use sweet potatoes--not yams. This was my other favorite new recipe of the day. Giada De Laurentiis's Rosemary Cheese Breadsticks. Nobody will know you cheated and used Pillsbury. Both are simple. Both go well with the classic dishes. The rest of the menu--for posterity:

Prep Party the night before: Hot spinach dip with Pumpernickel bread; beef stew; Autumn salad (lettuce, carrots, corn, sunflower seeds, dried cranberries, apple chips, in a pumpkin vinaigrette); spiced wafer cookies with pumpkin dip

Appetizers: Williamsburg peanuts, Assorted Olives, Brie with Jalapeno Jelly on crackers, Cranberry cocktails

Main menu: Roast Turkey with Italian Apple stuffing and Riesling gravy; Smashed potatoes; Scalloped sweet potatoes; Creamed corn; Green bean casserole with goat cheese, red peppers and sauteed onions; breadsticks; Pedronocelli Mother Clone Zinfandel

Dessert: Pumpkin Layer cake with spiced Cream cheese icing; Chocolate Hazelnut Cheesecake with Hazelnut brittle garnish

I guess it is obvious that I love food. And I am thankful for this day which allows me to play chef and invent different combinations. We also had a nice looking table. it was supposed to be an all white and cream table, but I changed it last minute to be white with red accents. On Monday, it snowed at our house. It was the first time that it ever snowed while we still had red leaves on the trees. Everyone in our neighborhood has a maple tree that turns red, so the red and white together were stunning. I threw some of the red leaves across my white table runner and used red napkins against our white dishes. It is very unusual for us to have red leaves this late in the season. Very festive!

Degree of Difficulty

My sister and I laugh when we think about putting together my sister-in-law's bridal shower. We were up half the night making crepewiches and putting ribbons on the coffee cups we gave as souvenirs for the French-themed party. At the time we said we were going for the "degree of difficulty" points as if we were Olympic divers, gymnasts, or ice skaters.

Here are the degree of difficulty tricks I am attempting for Thanksgiving:

1. An all-white table complete with a non-descript table runner that, despite its average nature, took me 3 hours to make last night.

2. Recovering 6 kitchen chairs. I've had the fabric for a year and am waiting until the day before Thanksgiving to execute.

3. Having a prep party where I pretend to have people help me make the food, but instead, I make an entire other meal and we play games.

4. Amidst preparations today, I have my parent/teacher conference with my daughter's teacher.

5. Yesterday, I made homemade hazelnut brittle to serve as a garnish on my chocolate hazelnut cheesecake.

6. I told my son he could have a friend stay overnight last night when I really needed his help with preparations this morning.

7. I invited my niece and nephew to spend the night tonight.

8. I still have grocery shopping to do and wine to buy. (In Pennsylvania--that's two separate stores.)

9. I decided to wash all my decorative pillows. Now I have to sew the inserts back into them.

10.Despite the fact that we are having a sweet potato gratin and I declared that to be the sole potato dish, I am caving to my husband's demand for mashed potatoes.

Why am I doing all this? It's not a holiday where I get a crown or presents. It is a holiday where all the men chow down and then excuse themselves to go watch football. It feels like I am having football referees judge my triple axle toe loop double camel combo.

Today I am thankful for 24 hours in each day. Hopefully I can use them to the fullest advantage.

5 Post meme

This one is from Sognatrice. She is retaliating for yesterday. Still it is a worthwhile assignment. Could someone tell me what Meme stands for?

Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given below (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like).
Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
Don’t forget to read the archived post and leave comments.I like this meme because it gives me a chance to point out posts that new readers may have missed.
FAMILY:
Wonderful...as in full of wonder This is one of my all-time favorite family posts. I had to dig for it in my old blog because my new blog is less about family life and more about my writing/art life. And this post is seasonal.
FRIEND:
Power of Two This one is hard. I have so many friends with whom I do so many kickin' activities. It is hard to limit. My friends have seen me through childbirth, my marathon, publishing triumphs and woes...everything. I have been with my friends through their major life events, too. I am choosing this blog because it talks about women promoting one another. Two women appear in this blog. One is someone I met 10 years ago, a year after we moved into the development. The other is a friend I have known since I was in first grade. What's that girl scout song? Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.
YOURSELF:
Spiral Theory and Practice This post says a lot about me. At one time I used the name SpiralAmethyst to post on Message boards. This ties into the way I see myself.
YOUR LOVE:
A short untitled post from an anniversary years ago before I actually had a blogging service. Another anniversary post. While I tend to think that love happens best in the moments between celebrations, I think that seeing how we commemorate our anniversaries says a lot about who were are. We aren't about showy displays--nothing contrived. We don't have a tradition. Instead, we take year as it comes and honor where we are and who we are together in that moment.
ANYTHING YOU LIKE:
City Mouse vs. Country Mouse This is a recent post, but I think it sums up how I view the pull the world has on me, and most often it is dichotomous. For every side of me there seems to be an opposite truth. It keeps me in the gray zone. I am always questioning--never black and white.
Now I'm supposed to tag 5 bloggers , but I am preparing for Thanksgiving, so I am asking for some of my readers to tag themselves and put your names in the comment section. I'll add a link to you in the post. Now, I must go see about a table runner and a turkey.
Today I am thankful for Advil. Mark and I are both taking Advil for different afflictions and it is making us nicer people. I forgot yesterday's thankful moment. So I am thankful for neighbors. We have a nice neighborhood where people are friendly and properties are well-groomed, often with seasonal displays. I can call on them for help, and they can call on me. We might not all be bosom buddies, but I bet I could count on most of the people in this 'hood if I really needed help.

7 Unusual Things About Me

I have been tagged By Leandra Ganko through NaBloPoMo, so here goes nothing.

1. I love the mid-20th century design aesthetic. Heywood Wakefield furniture, graphic printed fabric, Eva Zeisal servingware. I love Eames chairs, but I don't own any. I have the perfect space for two of them in my living room.

2. I recieved my online ordination. I haven't sent in for the certificate to perform weddings, but I could. I believe that the divine resides in each of us, so we should all be ordained.

3. I married my first boyfriend, so I've never experienced a break-up. I have no regrets about that. He was the one. We've been together for over 21 years. I don't ever wish for a more varied experience because I have novel-writing: I get to experience anything I want through my characters.

4. I don't have any tattoos because I could never commit to an image for the rest of my life. I can commit to a man, but not to a single piece of art.

5. I love going to art museums, but I can only usually hit one or two galleries before I am done.
Either I have a very short attention span or my brain gets too stimulated and I must leave before I explode. (Maybe that's what a short attention span is.)

6. My kids think I am crazy, but I have told them that I am the first person they ever met; therefore, I am the norm against which they measure all others. Everybody else may be crazy when compared to me.

7. I love cheese. My husband bought me gourmet cheese chocolates for Valentines' Day. They were actually very good. A cheesetasting party is the best party to have.


Guidelines:
Link to the person that tagged you and post these guidelines on your blog.
Share 7 random or weird things about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

I am tagging Sharon Naylor, Michelle Abeyta, JulieAnn Henneman , Sognatrice, Lilymania, Diahn Ott and Tracey Brewer Medley.

Marathon Man

Mark did well today at the Philadelphia marathon. He had two goals: under 3:45 and under 4 hours. Why two goals? To make the race realistic for him. No matter. A raw day, but blessedly free of the freezing rain that came later. His official time was 3:42:31. Afterwards, tired but resilient, he hobbled back to the car. I am glad it wasn't a piece of cake for him. After all that training it needed to be tough to justify the effort. (And more selfishly, I had such a tough time with the same feat in 2003, that I needed this to be ugly for him as well.) He felt the pain at mile 24 when his back seized up in the cold. Up until that point he had been running at a pace of 3:40. The last 2.2 miles were brutal for him. We (our kids, Mark's brother and wife--my running partner, their kids, and I) cheered him from different vantage points and found him shivering beneath his Mylar blanket at the finish. After a detour of Philly cheese steaks, we went home and napped. I usually can't nap for more than 20 minutes, but I was out for two hours. Did I experience sympathy fatigue? Today I was grateful for the nap, my warm bed, the people who supported Mark (nod to the the East Pete Woods, Jeff Steed and Doug Yoder), and that Mark safely finished his race.

No time to blog

Does it count as blogging if I log on and say I have no time to blog? I am making a main course for a dinner party at our house, cleaning, recovering a chair, hanging pictures, and watching a football game.

I did forget my gratitude yesterday, so I have to think up two today. I also gave up on my complaint bracelet until after Thanksgiving. I simply cannot monitor myself in the midst of preparations for my favorite holiday.

So today I am thankful for my kids and their help in cleaning and shopping and preparing for the holiday. They are such good kids. They are helpful and don't complain (much).

Yesterday I was thankful that my husband had the day off, and we spent it together.

To run again

Today, Mark and I went to Philadelphia to pick up his marathon race packet. We had a nice autumn foliage-lined drive past the boathouses and up to the art museum. The next time Mark sees that road will be on the last leg of his marathon--which means he won't really be seeing it at all. I know. I ran the Chicago marathon 4 years ago. I have no memory of the last 6 miles of my race.
In the spirit of that event, Mark and I had lunch at Maggianos, which is where I ate (in Chicago) before my marathon. It is a weird mix of deja vu and sadness. 2007 is the first year since 1998 that I have not completed at least one road race. Nothing. Not even a 5K. From marathon to nothing in 4 short years. I hope that 2006 wasn't the end for me. I hope that I still have more running in my future. Walking around the expo was powerful inspiration. I especially liked the running shirts with sayings. "This seemed like a good idea 3 months ago." "This is my race speed." And "Run like a girl."

I also have Mark as an inspiration. He hasn't run regularly since college. Of the two of us, I was the steady runner. (Plodding, but steady). But this year, due to a weight-loss competition at work, Mark lost 45 pounds. Only after that did he start a running regimen. He didn't start out training for a marathon. He did a pretty good 5-mile race and decided to go for a half-marathon. After that event, he figured, he was already half-way there, so he decided to try for the full marathon. It's been an interesting 3 months. He's asked me about different things about the marathon. Some things, I remember, and some things, I gratefully have retained NO memory. I need to ask T, my running partner, what she remembers. She is planning to stand beside me and cheer for Mark. I will be glad to have her there. I can't speak for her, but this gig as a spectator has revitalized my will to run. I hope my body cooperates.