Best holiday season ever

Usually around the holidays, I want to retreat to a blanket fort and not emerge until some time after the sun enters Aries. I grumble my way through obligation and chores, feeling put out as the person who has to attend to the details. This year, a string of influences has me in a more joyous mood.
First, I listened to an audio recording of Wayne Dyer's Excuses Be Gone. I made some mental adjustments which were a long time in coming. Not everything has to be difficult. I bought some gift cards this year instead of obsessing over the perfect gift. I stopped pouting every time I needed to bring a covered dish somewhere. I just made easier recipes that used what I had on hand. I don't like having to buy stocking stuffers so we did away with the stockings. In fact, our immediate family is not opening any presents this year. I just started to realize that not everything has to be a chore. Nor does it all have to be my responsibility. I can tell myself a new story about ease.

It has been a rough couple of years, in my mind and on paper. I am ready to embrace some new truths and new joys. One such joy is that our family is planning a trip to England and France. One of the reasons I am reviving this blog is to tell the story of our trip: planning through execution. I am in heaven, just considering the possibilities. I consider myself a great travel planner. Though the reality will only be one week of family togetherness and adventure, the advent of the trip has begun a chain of excitement. Don't get me a diamond necklace. Sorry Kay's --my kiss begins with the Pont Neuf. Even with the knowledge that I will open a very few presents this year, joy abounds.

Gift giving

Above is a message about holiday gift-giving. Stop shopping. In this time of economic hardship for so many, it is time to return some thought to the process that has become automatic. We are all looking for meaning in our religious traditions. This holiday season, why not stop and think about the way you spend your money and time. What are you really giving? What do you take away from the holidays?

I am not going to stop shopping, but we have reduced the number of people we shop for. I would like to replace those gifts with something meaningful. Also, the gifts I do buy? I am rethinking about where I shop and how I spend my money. Rather than going to the catalogs for all my presents, I am seeking out local stores and businesses in my area. The Susquehanna Sustainable Business Network has a new brochure of businesses in my area. These include organic farmers, stores that stock free trade gift items, and local businesses.

Our family has a book exchange among the kids ages 2 months-14 years. All of them are readers and they get plenty of toys, so the books are something they actually look forward to each year. I usually put a big order into an online bookstore. Maybe I will again this year, but I am starting to think in new ways. We have an independent bookstore that is not too far away from us that sells new and used books. It is possible I will try them first.

The purpose of this post is not to make people feel guilty in a time where we are all already bogged down with dictates of culture and restraints of finances. But maybe we question the way we do things this year. Then we formulate a plan for next year. Maybe I'll seek out my books earlier--keep a list in my purse for when I do have more physical time and more time before my deadline.

In the meantime, I have bought some items at local stores. That is a step in the right direction. And if after watching the above video, anyone wants to give me a certificate for some homemade curry, color me grateful.

Here's to you, Mrs. Claus

I just got off the phone with my sister. She was almost in tears over the rushing and obligations she has in front of her the next couple of days in the name of holiday joy, which she was having difficulty conjuring. I believe she is looking at somewhere in 5-6 range of family Christmas parties--not to mention New Year's. My sister works full time, as does her husband. In addition to his job, he is also a high school basketball coach. They have two young children. To hear her voice on the phone made me want to cry. I could feel her pain. I have been there. I have done the to-the-minute holiday choreography. She has to make a dish and wrap presents for every party she is attending. When I talked to her, she had just returned from the grocery store. She had one hour to makes a dessert, shower, and get her family to tonight's party. Not only does she have to go to all these parties, but she must work extra hours to make up for the time she must take off to go to these events.

I have often decried the disporportional amount of work that most women do for the holidays. I know there are exceptions, but I distinctly remember a college sociology class that cited women's hidden taskload: the work she does for her family includes social networking, birthday cards, welcome wagons, showers. While all of this seems like fun and games with shades of Mall Barbie, it still requires time and energy to bring about the order that is so often taken for granted. This social networking is actually a support system that keeps families afloat and gives insurance against calamity. Imagine if mom breaks her leg and needs transportation for her kids or meals for her family. The kind of work that women instinctually do help develop networks that are crucial to family survival. Women are also the main link that carries the culture from one generation to the next, which gives families a sense of belonging and a context for their own relationships.

So for the women out there, I say that you need to pat yourselves on the back; give yourself a break. So the Christmas cards didn't get mailed out this year? So what? Will anybody notice if the buffet is missing the crab dip? Not with the spinach dip and the spiced pecans. I wish I had an extra hour to gift the women of the world this holiday. A nap. A bubble bath. The yoga corpse pose. A hug. Jan, if you are out there--this hug's for you. Love ya, sis.